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Things to do when the server is down

 
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mikeyking



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PostPosted: Sat Jan 11, 2014 9:24 pm Post subject: No icon Things to do when the server is down Reply with quote

Seems our GSP has some major issues, so, with nothing else to do on a Saturday night how about you all post your best joke?

Mine? Um..

What do you call a donkey with three legs?

A wonkey.


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I-chicken



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PostPosted: Sat Jan 11, 2014 9:32 pm Post subject: No icon Re: Things to do when the server is down Reply with quote

There are two hunters walking in the forest. All of a sudden one of them starts coughing, grabs his chest and falls to the ground and stops moving.
The other one is scared and doesn't know what to do, as they are in the middle of the forest with no one to help. So he takes out his phone and calls emergency services and says:

"I don't know what to do! I'm in the forest and I think my friend is dead! What should I do?"

"Well don't panic, firstly are you sure he's dead?"

There's a silence on the end of the line, then there's a loud BANG!

"Yep",says the hunter, "I'm sure"

Poo.....and a little bit of wee!
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ToGDMB



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PostPosted: Sat Jan 11, 2014 9:37 pm Post subject: No icon Re: Things to do when the server is down Reply with quote

What about a quick raid on this server? ¬†We have been invited...... Wink    Lots of room, I'm popping in :)

"Cheers DMB.

Forum is at www.deadmen.co.uk
Public server is 77.108.135.45:27019 -=[dMw]=-Boomer CS:Go Public
Private server, playable upon forum reg: 77.108.135.45:27021 -=[dMw]=-Meathook CS:Go

Anybody's welcome to pop over Smile

and who said anything about riding off into the sunset? Razz "


Last edited by ToGDMB on Sat Jan 11, 2014 9:41 pm; edited 1 time in total
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porkspine



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PostPosted: Sat Jan 11, 2014 9:37 pm Post subject: No icon Re: Things to do when the server is down Reply with quote

What do you do if you come across a tiger in the wild?

Wipe it off and apologise.

8=====D - -- -

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I-chicken



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PostPosted: Sat Jan 11, 2014 9:38 pm Post subject: No icon Re: Things to do when the server is down Reply with quote

How come people are complaining about getting bans on the steam forums when game servers go down...what's that about?

Poo.....and a little bit of wee!
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Smoggy
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PostPosted: Sat Jan 11, 2014 9:44 pm Post subject: No icon Re: Things to do when the server is down Reply with quote

Whats E.T short for?





Little legs

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cold



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PostPosted: Sat Jan 11, 2014 9:54 pm Post subject: No icon Re: Things to do when the server is down Reply with quote

I am incredibly generous and gonna give u two jokes....bear in mind you need to pretend u r Scotish or Northern Irish to get the most from them

What is the difference between Bing Crosby and Walt Disney?
Bing sings and Walt Disney

What is the difference between a buffalo and a bison?
You cant wash ur hands in a buffalo


actually one more


Son walks into bathroom whilst dad in bath.
Son looks at dad's nether regions and says 'Dad what is that?'
Dad says replys 'that is my hedgehog'
Son agog says 'Bloody hell its got a massive cock for a hedgehog'

Last one...

'Mummy Mummy the kids at school keep calling me werewolf' - 'Shut up and comb ur face'


Thank you very much Im here all week, matinee on the weekend...good night God bless...

...and why not?
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I-chicken



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PostPosted: Sun Jan 12, 2014 3:02 pm Post subject: No icon Re: Things to do when the server is down Reply with quote

Why does a milking stool only have 3 legs?


Because the cow has the udder Shocked

Poo.....and a little bit of wee!
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Darrenbf




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PostPosted: Sun Jan 12, 2014 5:19 pm Post subject: No icon Re: Things to do when the server is down Reply with quote

Fred, a man in a mental hospital likes to use his dinner plate as a steering wheel and after dinner goes for a drive around the ward.

"Beep, Beep" goes Fred and drives out of the canteen. As he goes into the corridor, Doris is there holding up her hand "stop! I need to see your tax!"

Fred grumbles and gets a prescription out of his pocket and shows it to Doris. "Off you go, she says"

"Beep, Beep" and Fred is off down the corridor. He goes into another ward and Brian is there holding up his hand. "Stop! I need to see your license!"

Fred curses and fumbles through his pockets finding an old sweet wrapper. He shows this to Brian. "On your way sir" says Brian.

"Beep, Beep" and Fred is once again off on his drive.

As Fred rounds the corner he spots Nigel unzipping his trousers and then holding his hand up to which he exclaims "Oh no, not the breathalyser!"

Laughing
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